She was mortified by the gift.

Years ago her mom, Karen, decided to buy a present for one of her cousins, Jane.

Now as it happens her mom did not know Jane very well but at the time she was seventeen so Karen thought that a gift of beauty products would be a ‘safe’ gift.  She selected a very nice bar of goats milk soap as a little luxury.

She meant it as -here, pamper yourself.

Jane, though, interpreted it as – you stink, here, take a bath.

She was mortified by the gift.

Apparently, as my wife tells me, he family did not have a tradition of bath products as beauty products the way that my wife’s family did.  That, combined with a seventeen year old’s insecurity, lead to only one conclusion.

Fortunately Jane was close enough to my wife that she could check to see if Karen really meant what she thought she meant.

My wife quickly explained the situation to her, along with the context that made the gift make sense.

I take this story to remind us of several things about gift giving – the first is the fact that the best gift for someone is one that they asked for.  Jane wouldn’t mind pampering herself, but she never would have asked for soap as a gift.  Karen didn’t know that.

The second is to remember to stay humble.  It’s easy to think that we are considerate and thoughtful and can do a good job picking out gifts, but it is easy to go awry even with ‘safe’ gifts. Your giftee will never interpret a gift in the same way that you do.  Sometimes all you can do is cross your fingers and hope for the best.

If you want to have your friends and loved ones appreciate your gifts  go read our article about the best gift ideas and the psychology of giving.  Thanks for reading.